Are You Suffering Through A Bad Marriage?

By Herbert Zabala


Living in a bad marriage is a miserable experience for both you and your spouse. Marriages take work; if they are going to succeed, couples have to be able to weather both the good and the bad with one another. Even when the situation clearly is not working, many couples choose to stay together and try and make the best of it.

This happens for a variety of reasons. Some people simply have their head in the sand and refuse to acknowledge how bad things really are, for example. Living in a state of denial is not as uncommon as you would think, either.

Spouses who grew up in a home with a bad marriage often assume that this is the same everywhere. They see their parents go through their marriage without love just for the kids. This usually does not help the children at all.

As a matter of fact, it is not all that uncommon for someone who came from a broken home or a situation where their parents were always fighting to fall into a pattern of the same behavior. Because this type of action seems normal, it is difficult for them to understand that what they are going through is not necessarily healthy.

Some of the signs of a marriage in trouble include the lack of affection, intimacy and communication. There may be even abuse physically and verbally. If either the husband or the wife make excuses to not be at home all the time, that is a signal that something is wrong. With no communication, problems cannot be solved. You have to recognize and accept what the problem is, then solve it together.

There are a few characteristics of bad marriages. These include a lack of intimacy and affection and strained communication. In very serious cases, there could also be verbal or physical abuse. If you find that you never want to go home after work, there is probably an issue with your marriage. Communication is key. If you don't speak to one another about what is transpiring, there is no way you are going to fix the situation.

Keep in mind that it is not just your happiness that is at stake. Your health may be in jeopardy as well. Research indicates that people in bad marriages have higher stress levels and worse health. That often leads to things like heart problems, depression or even eating disorders. In addition, it may compromise your immune system.

Don't fall victim to the fallacy that you can save your marriage all on your own. If you do, you may wait until it is too late to see a counselor. Counselors are remarkably effective in helping couples suffering through a bad marriage; more than 50 percent of the time, couples that see a counselor wind up staying together.

A lot of people have a fantasy view that if there is love, it will solve all problems. Yes, keeping a positive attitude is good, but someone still need to point out the reality and where the marriage is weak. Then, you are able to separate what is real and what is not real. Love can be an infatuation that does not last.

Try to remember that dealing with a bad marriage can end up being quite dangerous to your health and mental stability. If you have children, they need you to remain strong and steadfast no matter what may be going on within the relationship with the other parent.

You don't have to be embarrassed about your situation and not talk about it. When there is love, respect, and a commitment to seek solutions, a bad marriage can be saved. You have to first be honest with yourself and make a decision if the marriage is worth saving. This decision is up to you to make.




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